That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Bring me that man meat
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
