shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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