so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
