the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
