I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
organizing the empties. That sober.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
