So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
