sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She's JV to your varsity
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I intend to get homeless drunk
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
