You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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