How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
