Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
