she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
