just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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