You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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