Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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