Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
