ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Send help, water and tortillas.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
