btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
