No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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