And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
