after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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