Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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