Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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