weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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