i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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