is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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