Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
