There was a lot of him and a little penis
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
