hotel room ftw
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
