Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My boob is missing a layer of skin
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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