I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize