We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Randomize
