Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
