BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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