I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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