there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
