did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
