are you still at the devil's house?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
