at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
