I could have mohawked her pubes.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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