Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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