He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
it's like heaven, but drunker
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
whose parrot is this?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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