she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
