i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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