Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
