And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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