areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
