It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
