I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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