this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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