he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it glows. i had to have it.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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